so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
