New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
