Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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