Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I need a burrito and a hug.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize