Betty ford says i'm here all night
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
be right there i have to get my cape
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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