tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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