Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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