maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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