If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
