your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
