How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
PANTIES FOUND
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