Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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