I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
