Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Randomize
