I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
