Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
