the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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