i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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