A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
How naked do you want me to be?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
