I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
