The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
