So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
