just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
