have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
