You were right. It hurts to walk today.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
