Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
