The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
