physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
