Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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