we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
