idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
