it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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