Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Ladies don't puke and tell
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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