she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
