If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
