They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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