epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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