You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
