i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
