:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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