i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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