lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
