"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I am available for nakedness
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
