Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
