im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
