Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
