I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
