yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
