I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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