I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
