i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
