If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
