Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
