planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize