I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she told me i tasted like america
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
