You work out of a Hotel?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
