Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
