Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
