And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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