Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
