The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Girls should come with a carfax report
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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