She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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